"So...why did you lock Kirsten in the freezer?"
"Initiation. I was going to keep her in there untill she could cut glass."
"Chris, you are one strange, perverted, little man."
And with that, I smack him across the back of the head and ride off on my cart.
I'm jealous of Kirsten, though. She only got locked in the freezer. I had to drink a glass of dirty mop water. Chris claims he was locked in the women's bathroom for the night. Tim, the guy who initiated Chris, had to strip naked and hump the clown statue outside of Churley's. Good times. Good times.
I ride to the theatres to talk to Sean, our friendly neighborhood box office attendant. I've known Sean since grade school, but in the first year of Junior High, he moved away and we kinda lost touch. I find it ironic that he works at the theatres, considering he dreams of becoming a director
"Sup' Sean?"
"Not much. Yourself?"
"Just workin'. Any good movies out?"
"Nah, just the same usual trendy bullshit Hollywood keeps pumpin out eight times over every year....but there is one flick you might wanna check out, I can let you in if you want, no skin of my nose."
"I'll decline that one. Last time the place was trashed."
"No doubt. Well, suit urself. Ill just stay here lookin like a victim in an Ed Wood movie. Fuck i hate my job"
"Don't diss the glass box. I'll give you twenty bucks if you go Hannibal Lecter on your next customers."
"Deal...but no more Cable Guy bullshit. I almost got fired last time."
"Alright!"
I wander off and hide behind a plant. A mother and her 5 year old approach to purchace tickets for the recent family hit of the summer. Sean flicks his tongue and claims he ate a man's liver. The child runs off and the mother threatens to talk to the manager. I slip him the $20 and high-five him...then we realize we just high-fived the glass.
"you should probably..."
"Yeah, leaving"
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Beginnings
Foreword:
This is Moptop: The story of a Janitor...as if you didn't know that already. This started as my attempt to create happier characters in order to make myself feel better, as I was kinda depressed at the time. It was also inspired by the films of Kevin Smith and a fair bit of Douglas Coupland's work...oh, and a Matt Good video. When it started I thought it would be just another serial I would work on while the Eddie Graham saga (http://10thousandmonkeys.blogspot.com/) was on hiatus. Currently I think it will end up as a script for an indie film...but that's what most modern writers hope their work will be. So, to see what people think of it, I've decided to post it to the interwebs. Tell me what you think in comments.
"There ain't room in this town for the two of us.", Matt says as he reaches for his gun. Of course, this isn't a real gun. It's a taser. He's just the night shift security guy. I reach for my own gun. Once again, not a real gun. I'm a janitor, and most of the janitorial staff aren't allowed to carry firearms. If it was a real gun, I would have caught Matt dead between the eyes. We laugh at our little display and get back to work.
I step into the elevator to hear Matt call to me. "JAMES! You left your keys!", he informs me. I run back to get them, propping the elevator door open with my trash bin. The massive ring holding every shining key to every door in the building. Better get started.
1
I meet up with Chris in the food court. He's got his MP3 cranked, and he's dancing on a table. I get out my cell and film him for a solid minute and a half before he sees me. When he does, he jumps and falls off the table. "This is so going on youtube."
"How long have you been here?" He asks, voice cracking like a teenager who's parents have caught him masturbating. "Long enough", I tell him. "So you like the milkshake, do ya?"
Chris claims to be a metalhead. This makes the dancing while singing Kelis' Miilkshake so much funnier.
"Where's Kirst?" I ask.
"I think I locked her in the freezer at Churley's"
"How long ago was this?"
"Bout half an hour ago."
"Were you planning on letting her out?"
"...yeah"
"Like, soon?"
"...yeah"
"I think we should get on that"
We leap over tables and counters, knowing that we only have...ok, I think we have a decent amount of time before she freezes to death, but I'm more interested in rushing in like a white knight and saving her from the icy hands of the Churley's freezer. No reason...I just feel like being heroic. I push a pile of empty boxes into Chris's way, causing him to trip and lose precious time.
I open the heavy steel door to find Kirsten huddled in a corner, nibbling away on frozen fries. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask. "Oh, James, I'm so happy that you came for me!" She explains. Doesn't exactly answer my question, but it makes me feel better to see Kirsten's fresh face light up. "Chris, you are such a fucking asshole!" She screams. Her cursing turns me on a bit...not that I'd ever tell someone that.
She walks over to him, grabs the baseball cap off his black-curtained head and smacks him like Moe slaps Curly. "I'm keeping this." She tells him.
"Some people don't take well to initiation", Chris whispers to me.
It's gonna be a long night.
This is Moptop: The story of a Janitor...as if you didn't know that already. This started as my attempt to create happier characters in order to make myself feel better, as I was kinda depressed at the time. It was also inspired by the films of Kevin Smith and a fair bit of Douglas Coupland's work...oh, and a Matt Good video. When it started I thought it would be just another serial I would work on while the Eddie Graham saga (http://10thousandmonkeys.blogspot.com/) was on hiatus. Currently I think it will end up as a script for an indie film...but that's what most modern writers hope their work will be. So, to see what people think of it, I've decided to post it to the interwebs. Tell me what you think in comments.
"There ain't room in this town for the two of us.", Matt says as he reaches for his gun. Of course, this isn't a real gun. It's a taser. He's just the night shift security guy. I reach for my own gun. Once again, not a real gun. I'm a janitor, and most of the janitorial staff aren't allowed to carry firearms. If it was a real gun, I would have caught Matt dead between the eyes. We laugh at our little display and get back to work.
I step into the elevator to hear Matt call to me. "JAMES! You left your keys!", he informs me. I run back to get them, propping the elevator door open with my trash bin. The massive ring holding every shining key to every door in the building. Better get started.
1
I meet up with Chris in the food court. He's got his MP3 cranked, and he's dancing on a table. I get out my cell and film him for a solid minute and a half before he sees me. When he does, he jumps and falls off the table. "This is so going on youtube."
"How long have you been here?" He asks, voice cracking like a teenager who's parents have caught him masturbating. "Long enough", I tell him. "So you like the milkshake, do ya?"
Chris claims to be a metalhead. This makes the dancing while singing Kelis' Miilkshake so much funnier.
"Where's Kirst?" I ask.
"I think I locked her in the freezer at Churley's"
"How long ago was this?"
"Bout half an hour ago."
"Were you planning on letting her out?"
"...yeah"
"Like, soon?"
"...yeah"
"I think we should get on that"
We leap over tables and counters, knowing that we only have...ok, I think we have a decent amount of time before she freezes to death, but I'm more interested in rushing in like a white knight and saving her from the icy hands of the Churley's freezer. No reason...I just feel like being heroic. I push a pile of empty boxes into Chris's way, causing him to trip and lose precious time.
I open the heavy steel door to find Kirsten huddled in a corner, nibbling away on frozen fries. "What the hell are you doing?" I ask. "Oh, James, I'm so happy that you came for me!" She explains. Doesn't exactly answer my question, but it makes me feel better to see Kirsten's fresh face light up. "Chris, you are such a fucking asshole!" She screams. Her cursing turns me on a bit...not that I'd ever tell someone that.
She walks over to him, grabs the baseball cap off his black-curtained head and smacks him like Moe slaps Curly. "I'm keeping this." She tells him.
"Some people don't take well to initiation", Chris whispers to me.
It's gonna be a long night.
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